3.25.20 – For Paul

Wednesday, March 25, 2020

In light of recent news of Paul Frishkorn we realize this is a tremendous loss for PHL.  He not only was a valuable part of our union but a great friend to many.  He touched many lives with his wisdom and advice, even at APFA headquarters. During this time of uncertainty, we are already on the edge of sadness and fear which can make this more difficult for all of us to process.

As flight attendants, there is an element of “family” when we all fly together, so there is another layer of grief that makes this a more important loss, but it can also be a very painful and tiring experience. We work together, laugh together, complain to one another, and share good days and bad.  Within the first few weeks to months after a death, you may find yourself riding on a roller coaster of shifting emotions. Most people go through these stages not in linear steps, but in unpredictable waves — moving through one stage to the next and sometimes shifting back. Some people will experience certain stages but not others.  Some common grief reactions or stages are:

Shock and disbelief – It can be numbing, and disorienting and you may have a sense that death hasn’t really happened.  This can last for several hours to several days.

Anger – Also another reaction to how this has transpired and facts surrounding a death.

Guilt – Blaming yourself or others for not dealing with any unfinished business.

Sadness – This experience where you find yourself crying a lot. There is a tendency for withdrawing or isolating and can bring up other losses that were significant for you.

Please know that all these reactions are normal. Allow yourselves to grieve as I’m sure Paul played a significant role in many people’s lives. Acknowledge and honor his death and feel free to express this with other flight attendants, family, or a therapist so you can share and have a sense of closure. This may present a unique challenge during this uncertain time, but please know that you have people you can reach out to and express your grief who understand this as a truly difficult time even if it is just over the phone, FaceTime or via email.

Please feel free to call our APFA EAP Department at (817) 540-0108 extension 8701,
or email us at [email protected]

You may also call our 24/7 CIRT Crew Support hotline at (800) 998-8194

We are flight attendants helping flight attendants…

Abby Alconcher
APFA National EAP Coordinator